Begin Again

Getting up early is a form of sanity saving for me. The first light of day reminds me that there is a always a new beginning. 

I was at a funeral a few years ago. A sad funeral of a teen who died by suicide. They were someone I had known for a decade and friends with my kids. It was a devastating heart wrenching event on so many level for all of us. As a member of their social community and a clinical social worker I had taken on a role of facilitating supportive gatherings of other parents in the immediate aftermath. Providing a space for people to express their shock, sorrow and fears. A teen suicide hits the heart of fear of every parent. 

At the service another mother stepped up to speak at the open mic. She had struggled with significant depression and knew the pain of the urge of wanting to be dead. And she said to our young audience: no matter how dark the night gets, remember the sun always rises. The sin always rises. It. Always. Rises. 

Getting up for the sunrise reminds me of this sacred truth. It might be trite or seen as overly positive, but the core truth of cycles is encapsulated- the earth turns, the seasons change, the night becomes day- regardless of events or people or heart ache. 

I work with people from all socioeconomic backgrounds and histories of trauma. The pain I sit with is real. I sir with people in their pain everyday. We don't start with this too shall pass; the sun always rises. We sit first and feel and examine the pain. I ask questions so we can know the contributors to pain and the consequences. The actions the pain has taken (unbeknownst to the rational safe self who is now in the back seat); and the results of the pain's lashing out. 

And in the end, when we have examined all the angles, we must arrive at the place of deep knowing that the sun always rises and there is always a chance to start again.