You love your role as mother, but it's not always easy. Becoming and being a mother includes more than the warm glow in your heart for your child.Many women struggle with making sense of their identity as a mother, and with feelings of depression, anxiety, anger and being overwhelmed. As a woman grows and changes in her sense of self as a mother, finding support and understanding can be tricky.
It might not feel like it sometimes, but there is actually no 'one way' to be a mother. I believe that each of us does the best we can in each moment. Sometimes we nail it and feel great, but lots of times we don't get it right and we feel awful. Reaching out and connecting with other mothers is the fisrt step to finding support in being the mother you want to be.
Sometimes in the process of becoming and being a mother, feelings and past experiences can be stirred up making the challenges of mothering and finding support even greater. When feelings become too difficult to handle or when old issues resurface, counseling may be the answer.
Counseling can provide a safe confidential place to speak honestly, reflect on thoughts and feelings, learn techniques for greater self-understanding and let go of feelings and thoughts that impede everyday joy. Counseling can help you sort out and be the kind of mom you want to be.
I have been a social worker since 1998. I have been a step-mother and a mother for the same length of time. My step-son was a teenager when we had our first daugher in 2001. Just over two years later, our twin daughters were born.
In my journey of becoming a step-mother and mother, I found that there were pieces of my past identity as a young woman (in mythology, 'the maiden') of which I needed to let go. It was difficult to make sense of what was and what was not important within myself.
I know that when I struggled, I needed support from people who could understand that my values as a parent were important to me. I wanted support within the framework of my parenting choices. That's what I strive to do for women I meet in counseling.
As a therapist, I work with women to help identify how their beliefs impact their feelings, behavior and life choice. My role is to reflect back what I hear and challenge assumptions. My primary goal is to facilitate a woman's journey into deeper self-awareness. I truely believe that there is no 'one way' to be a mother and that as we grow and change within this role, we all need support from time to time.
Issues and Feelings
In working with mothers I have found that there are some specific issues and feelings that can come up when a woman first beomes a mother and throughout the mothering journey.
-past trauma and sexual abouse
-past pregnancy and loss including abortion
-body image and sexuality
-anxiety about the 'unsafe world'
-depression and withdrawing from others
-feeling easily frustrated or frequently angry
-feelings of guilt, shame and isolation
-changing roles in the couple relationship
-stress in extended family relationships
If you are struggling with these or other issues and would like support, please contact me.